What's up!

What's up!

legs-are-just-for-show:

replaying the same level in a video game for the hundredth time

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(via super-who-22)

yall-mothafuckas-need-misha:

badassbitchfromhades:

freckledtrekkie:

doctorsherlocklokison:

captainmjolnir:

I’ve never understood the stereotype that women are more likely to faint at blood

I mean seriously

what do you think we do every month

THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THE WEREWOLF THING

AWH COME ON GUYS THAT WAS A SECRET FOR A REASON

I guess we have to come clean about the cult sacrafices too huh

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Well now we do

(via peetaismydandilion)

you look fucking stupid in a dress, DUDE

Answer:

dajo42:

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come closer one second

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little closer

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okay close enough

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i have a simple question: which of us is wearing a crown?

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that would be me.

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do you know what this crown means?

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it means i look fucking cute

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and you’re the human embodiment of a sore butt

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now as your fucking queen, i royally declare

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that i am beautiful and you are a listerine enema

porcelain-horse-horselain:

backyardgoldmine:

afternoonsnoozebutton:

This story that’s been going around has been pissing me off so much. Like wow, maybe if you actually put a tenth of the effort that was put into this spreadsheet into figuring out what turns your wife on and off (hint: passive aggressive spreadsheet-making is probably a turn off), you wouldn’t be getting turned down so damn often.

I feel really bad for her. Especially when you look at the reasons. One of them is because she still felt tender from the day before. Like you’re hurting her but you’re going to blame her. He doesn’t seem mature enough to have sex. 

Even on the days when it’s not something like actual pain, she is clearly just not in the mood.
When he’s like “said we’d be late but we were actually early by 20 minutes” it’s like he thinks he’s catching her in a lie or something, but really he’s just making it super clear that the real reason his wife won’t have sex with him is that his wife just doesn’t want to have sex with him.
Not surprising, considering the window of time he thought was adequate was 20 minutes… I’m not saying it’s only good if someone can “last” 20 minutes, but if he thinks it’s sexy for the entire act—from getting undressed to foreplay to whatever to laying there all orgasmed out for a bit—to have a 20-minute time limit on it, then no wonder his wife doesn’t want to have sex with him.
This man is a piece of shit (if this is even real. probably just invented to go viral) and there were two “Yes” in this spreadsheet anyway, so I don’t know what he’s complaining about.
Maybe if he could try to be less of a shit, his wife would be more in the mood… but being less of a shit involves understanding that people’s sex drives differ and that maybe twice in one month is more than enough for someone that he willingly chose to get married to.
Marrying someone does NOT mean you are entitled to sex with them or that they are under any obligation to have sex with you, let alone a frequent amount of sex………
If a man ever tried to “call me out” for saying no, I would immediately leave him. I hope that, if this couple even really exists, the wife bails on this loser.

porcelain-horse-horselain:

backyardgoldmine:

afternoonsnoozebutton:

This story that’s been going around has been pissing me off so much. Like wow, maybe if you actually put a tenth of the effort that was put into this spreadsheet into figuring out what turns your wife on and off (hint: passive aggressive spreadsheet-making is probably a turn off), you wouldn’t be getting turned down so damn often.

I feel really bad for her. Especially when you look at the reasons. One of them is because she still felt tender from the day before. Like you’re hurting her but you’re going to blame her. He doesn’t seem mature enough to have sex. 

Even on the days when it’s not something like actual pain, she is clearly just not in the mood.

When he’s like “said we’d be late but we were actually early by 20 minutes” it’s like he thinks he’s catching her in a lie or something, but really he’s just making it super clear that the real reason his wife won’t have sex with him is that his wife just doesn’t want to have sex with him.

Not surprising, considering the window of time he thought was adequate was 20 minutes… I’m not saying it’s only good if someone can “last” 20 minutes, but if he thinks it’s sexy for the entire act—from getting undressed to foreplay to whatever to laying there all orgasmed out for a bit—to have a 20-minute time limit on it, then no wonder his wife doesn’t want to have sex with him.

This man is a piece of shit (if this is even real. probably just invented to go viral) and there were two “Yes” in this spreadsheet anyway, so I don’t know what he’s complaining about.

Maybe if he could try to be less of a shit, his wife would be more in the mood… but being less of a shit involves understanding that people’s sex drives differ and that maybe twice in one month is more than enough for someone that he willingly chose to get married to.

Marrying someone does NOT mean you are entitled to sex with them or that they are under any obligation to have sex with you, let alone a frequent amount of sex………

If a man ever tried to “call me out” for saying no, I would immediately leave him. I hope that, if this couple even really exists, the wife bails on this loser.

(via bowtiesat221b)

ckents:

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BUT I’M JUST A BRIDGE.

(via bowtiesat221b)

himezawa:

converse-universe:

Just realised that the British currency does this.  Mind. Blown.


sssssssh

himezawa:

converse-universe:

Just realised that the British currency does this.  Mind. Blown.

sssssssh

(via bowtiesat221b)

loki-is-the-sex:

A few of my favourite Percy Jackson quotes.
loki-is-the-sex:

A few of my favourite Percy Jackson quotes.
loki-is-the-sex:

A few of my favourite Percy Jackson quotes.
loki-is-the-sex:

A few of my favourite Percy Jackson quotes.
loki-is-the-sex:

A few of my favourite Percy Jackson quotes.
loki-is-the-sex:

A few of my favourite Percy Jackson quotes.
loki-is-the-sex:

A few of my favourite Percy Jackson quotes.

loki-is-the-sex:

A few of my favourite Percy Jackson quotes.

(via bowtiesat221b)

intergalacticsloth:

askerenjaegerisfuckingawesome:

tennants-hair:


VIVA LA PLUTO MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

DO YOU SEE THIS? DO YOU? ALL OF YOU WHO HAD WRITTEN OFF PLUTO, WHO HAD CROSSED IT OFF YOUR PLANET LIST? REMEMBER HOW IT WAS ‘TOO SMALL” TO BE A PLANET? HOW NASA, IN COLLABORATION WITH THE INTERNATIONAL ASTRONOMICAL UNION REMOVED ITS PLANETARY STATUS AND  CHANGED ITS NAME TO 134340? HOW EVERYONE THEN CONSIDERED THERE TO BE EIGHT PLANETS, NOT NINE?
BUT SOME OF US REMAINED LOYAL TO PLUTO. IT WAS NEVER FORGOTTEN. AND NOW HERE WE ARE, AND JUSTICE IS UPON US AFTER 8 YEARS.
BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? PLUTO HAS AT LEAST FIVE MOONS, A PRETTY BIG NUMBER FOR A ”DWARF-PLANET”, HUH? ESPECIALLY WHEN EARTH, QUITE BIGGER THAN PLUTO AND AN OFFICIAL PLANET ONLY HAS ONE. AND GUESS WHAT ELSE? ERIS, THE PLANET WHICH EVERYONE THOUGHT TO BE BIGGER THAN PLUTO, MAY NOT BE BIGGER AFTER ALL. AND THE BEST PART IS THAT PLUTO HAS AN ATMOSHPERE. THAT’S RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A SUPPOSEDLY NON-PLANET HAS AN ATMOSPHERE. AGAIN, ISN’T THAT IMPRESSIVE?
SO LOOK AT THIS. NEW FINDINGS, AND A NEW AGE FOR PLUTO. AN AGE OF RECOGNITION AND APPRECIATION. AND ALLOW ME TO CLOSE THIS -somewhat aggressive-PRESENTATION OF OPINION WITH THE MOTTO OF THE PLUTO APOLOGISTS: VIVA LA PLUTO!

Get “Viva la Pluto” to be a trending tag

The Pluto fandom doesn’t fuck around
intergalacticsloth:

askerenjaegerisfuckingawesome:

tennants-hair:


VIVA LA PLUTO MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

DO YOU SEE THIS? DO YOU? ALL OF YOU WHO HAD WRITTEN OFF PLUTO, WHO HAD CROSSED IT OFF YOUR PLANET LIST? REMEMBER HOW IT WAS ‘TOO SMALL” TO BE A PLANET? HOW NASA, IN COLLABORATION WITH THE INTERNATIONAL ASTRONOMICAL UNION REMOVED ITS PLANETARY STATUS AND  CHANGED ITS NAME TO 134340? HOW EVERYONE THEN CONSIDERED THERE TO BE EIGHT PLANETS, NOT NINE?
BUT SOME OF US REMAINED LOYAL TO PLUTO. IT WAS NEVER FORGOTTEN. AND NOW HERE WE ARE, AND JUSTICE IS UPON US AFTER 8 YEARS.
BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? PLUTO HAS AT LEAST FIVE MOONS, A PRETTY BIG NUMBER FOR A ”DWARF-PLANET”, HUH? ESPECIALLY WHEN EARTH, QUITE BIGGER THAN PLUTO AND AN OFFICIAL PLANET ONLY HAS ONE. AND GUESS WHAT ELSE? ERIS, THE PLANET WHICH EVERYONE THOUGHT TO BE BIGGER THAN PLUTO, MAY NOT BE BIGGER AFTER ALL. AND THE BEST PART IS THAT PLUTO HAS AN ATMOSHPERE. THAT’S RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A SUPPOSEDLY NON-PLANET HAS AN ATMOSPHERE. AGAIN, ISN’T THAT IMPRESSIVE?
SO LOOK AT THIS. NEW FINDINGS, AND A NEW AGE FOR PLUTO. AN AGE OF RECOGNITION AND APPRECIATION. AND ALLOW ME TO CLOSE THIS -somewhat aggressive-PRESENTATION OF OPINION WITH THE MOTTO OF THE PLUTO APOLOGISTS: VIVA LA PLUTO!

Get “Viva la Pluto” to be a trending tag

The Pluto fandom doesn’t fuck around

intergalacticsloth:

askerenjaegerisfuckingawesome:

tennants-hair:

VIVA LA PLUTO MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

DO YOU SEE THIS? DO YOU? ALL OF YOU WHO HAD WRITTEN OFF PLUTO, WHO HAD CROSSED IT OFF YOUR PLANET LIST? REMEMBER HOW IT WAS ‘TOO SMALL” TO BE A PLANET? HOW NASA, IN COLLABORATION WITH THE INTERNATIONAL ASTRONOMICAL UNION REMOVED ITS PLANETARY STATUS AND  CHANGED ITS NAME TO 134340? HOW EVERYONE THEN CONSIDERED THERE TO BE EIGHT PLANETS, NOT NINE?

BUT SOME OF US REMAINED LOYAL TO PLUTO. IT WAS NEVER FORGOTTEN. AND NOW HERE WE ARE, AND JUSTICE IS UPON US AFTER 8 YEARS.

BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? PLUTO HAS AT LEAST FIVE MOONS, A PRETTY BIG NUMBER FOR A ”DWARF-PLANET”, HUH? ESPECIALLY WHEN EARTH, QUITE BIGGER THAN PLUTO AND AN OFFICIAL PLANET ONLY HAS ONE. AND GUESS WHAT ELSE? ERIS, THE PLANET WHICH EVERYONE THOUGHT TO BE BIGGER THAN PLUTO, MAY NOT BE BIGGER AFTER ALL. AND THE BEST PART IS THAT PLUTO HAS AN ATMOSHPERE. THAT’S RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A SUPPOSEDLY NON-PLANET HAS AN ATMOSPHERE. AGAIN, ISN’T THAT IMPRESSIVE?

SO LOOK AT THIS. NEW FINDINGS, AND A NEW AGE FOR PLUTO. AN AGE OF RECOGNITION AND APPRECIATION. AND ALLOW ME TO CLOSE THIS -somewhat aggressive-PRESENTATION OF OPINION WITH THE MOTTO OF THE PLUTO APOLOGISTS: VIVA LA PLUTO!

Get “Viva la Pluto” to be a trending tag

The Pluto fandom doesn’t fuck around

(via scientificalstories)

lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

(via bowtiesat221b)

danisnotonfirree:

Amazing.
danisnotonfirree:

Amazing.
danisnotonfirree:

Amazing.
danisnotonfirree:

Amazing.